he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
