remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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