I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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