I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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