Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we should paint friendship bongs
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