its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
