Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
