Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
