So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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