walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
