I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
