dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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