The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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