PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
