dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
