Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
