Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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