I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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