3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
