I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
