Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
