I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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