I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm at about main and main street
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
