why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
