They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
