none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
