Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
