"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
