i was born a porn star she said
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
