You work out of a Hotel?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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