I want to stick my p in your. b.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize