her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
