Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
