google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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