my mouth tastes like poor choices
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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