Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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