I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
