One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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