If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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