No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize