I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
