btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
