What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
