I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
