Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
