so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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