Sponge bath it is.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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