would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
