what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
