being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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