I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
