he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
