$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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