omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize