I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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