everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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