My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
